Building character

Basic Advice on Protecting Your Integrity

Hello, friends! Today’s topic is a bit controversial, given the times that we are going through. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find it hard to keep my moral integrity. There are people who judge me for refusing one-night stands, or for doing my coursework without paid help, for not wearing revealing clothes anymore, praying and so much more. Nowadays, ethics is considered old-fashioned and banal; an obstacle to the male gaze and gossip-hungry neighbors. Nevertheless, maintaining one’s ethics code at a high standard is what makes them classy. And standing firm on your ethical code is directly associated with being a person that has integrity.

Now, you may ask, why do we need integrity in the 21st century? And I respond that a person with integrity has a rich life path. And there are so many practical advantages to integrity as well; you get the best references, people who are more powerful than you find you trustworthy -hence they can refer you to their friends and colleagues- you can get help with obstacles very easily, and so much more. Moral integrity is a gem, and those who have it certainly have no problem with letting yours shine.

Moral integrity is a subjective concept, so it can be defined in many ways. I love the definition given by Cambridge Dictionary: “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change”. But I also find the following one by the University of Texas quite interesting as well:

The specific relevant content for this request, if necessary, delimited with characters: Yet what can we do to build our integrity as classy women? In my opinion, the answer differs depending on your ethnic culture, background, and interests. However, I can give you some ideas on where to start from:

Avoid cheap manipulative strategies. The fact that a woman can use her “blessings” to get her way doesn’t make her an honorable woman. Sooner or later, these techniques will stop working, and you will need a backup plan. If you do that and it works, then you’d better think again; the other person might have figured out your plan, which means they know what you are doing, and are willing to take the risk if they think they have to reap bigger fruits than your “blessings”. Instead, try to negotiate your needs and wishes. And if you don’t know how to negotiate, there are plenty of sources out there that can help you build that skill. With manipulation, you can hold one person, but with negotiation, you can hold the world.

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Avoid wrecking homes. Let’s put aside the clichés about sisterhood and talk some common sense. There are too many fish in the sea, seriously. Why would you go with a married person who can’t even spare enough time to be with you? And let’s say that he abandons his other half to settle down with you. How safe does this make you feel, having solid evidence that he is capable of doing such a thing to his woman? No matter how he goes on and on saying that he hates his marriage, it was his choice and it’s none of your business. You deserve a man who is emotionally available and ready to provide for you, cherish you, and spend time with you. He is out there, but you will be able to see him only if you keep your eyes open.

Keep your promises. Keeping your word is crucial in your effort to build a sense of integrity. It is true that life happens and sometimes we can’t keep minor promises, such as catching up with a certain friend over some coffee. However, do your best to keep your promises on things that matter big; let’s say that you have to turn in important work to a supervisor that you really respect and hope that they open some doors for you down the road, and you fail to deliver that work by the deadline. Be honest about what made you miss the deadline and ask for a sensible extension. Make sure that you honor your new deadline no matter what. The next time you will need a favor it will be easier, because you will have the image of a person who honors their word.

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Avoid badmouthing other people. It is not just a waste of time. It always, ALWAYS, comes to the surface and suggests that you are simply envious of the person.

Stand up for who you are and what you believe in. Your cultural background and your ideas are integral parts of your identity. Don’t allow anyone to offend you on where you come from and what you think about a topic. If you allow this to happen, you will lose yourself eventually… On the other hand, refrain from offending other people’s backgrounds and beliefs. You have better things to do, anyway.

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Practice compassion and empathy. In short, treat others the way you want to be treated. Only then will you have the ability to defend yourself effectively against those who go behind your back.

Surround yourself with people of integrity. By associating with individuals who uphold high moral standards, you are influenced to reinforce your own commitment to integrity. Don’t just scroll on your phone while you are with them; engage in meaningful conversations and learn from their experiences.

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Spend enough quality time with yourself. Humans are social creatures, but certainly we need our alone time. Take yourself on a date or take a cozy day in. Try to relax and contemplate your life. Reflect on your own mistakes and come up with ideas that will make you a better person. Self-help books could indeed help too. You deserve a break, after all; so, take it and work on yourself.

To end with, moral integrity is crucial for a classy life, despite the fact that it’s not always easy to maintain. But it is certainly rewarding and becomes easier and easier with time and practice.

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